Disappointment

At some point in everyone's life they are disappointed. This stinks, but it is fact. Lately things really felt as though they weren't going in my favor and I was losing hope in situations. People with lack of reaching out, wrong decisions, over analyzing, stressful situations all got me to this stage. After a meeting with Jesus I realized that I will always be disappointed if it is left in my hands and I must quit confusing my ways with his. His ways may be difficult, but I will never be let down because ultimately God is sovereign and will put me in a better place than I can put myself. So where I am hoping you followed me to is that we should pray to God to be in His will and that His glory is most important, not having everything come out as we plan. I have never heard of disappointments stemming from glorifying Him.... that is truth.

ITS BEEN TOOOOOO LONG

Hello folks,
sorry to leave you all hangin. I just gotta say that I have found a new song that I dearly love. Weird thing is... I somewhat know what it says. Check this link out and listen to some rad singin... DEDICATED TO THE DEAREST AND FINEST PRINCESS OF ALL!

New Year Encouragement..

So I decided to give a pep talk... haha... well sorta. I did it on the spot and hope that it will help yall as you start the new year. This is hopefully something that will help you to look forward to 2010...

It's a Heart Condition...

As many of you know I went to the emergency room a little over a month ago thinking that I was having a heart attack or something else was going on. There were times that I honestly thought it could be my last few moments and then times where I felt a peace about everything. The two visits to the ER landed me in a Cardiologist's office and wearing a heart monitor for 3 weeks which just about drove me nuts every day of my life. I have never been so tired in my life as the time that I had to wear this dumb thing. The three weeks that I wore this I only got one reading, but from that one reading I was able to get results. The doc told me that the horrible sensation I was feeling was called PVC. If you are wondering what a PVC is here is the definition given by Web MD.....Premature ventricular complex, or PVC: This electrical impulse starts in the ventricle causing the heart to beat earlier than expected. Usually, the heart returns to its normal rhythm right away. This sounds like it would be an issue but the doc said that I will live to be old and die of something else and this will not hinder life at all. He said that this sensation that is happening at the bottom of my heart is what is causing it to feel like there is a fish in there flopping around. I walked away from the doc with no meds that day and with thoughts of specialness. Haha. In all sarcasm I say the "thoughts of specialness" because the Dr. says that alot of people have this issue, yet they don't feel it at all. He said I was one of the lucky ones. So with that, treatment is that I will call back if it gets to the point that I need to take action and with that they would try meds. If meds did not work in the long run they would do a procedure where they go in and actually shock the bottom part of my heart. Either way... I praise God because I can only live because he makes my ticker tick and puts the air in my lungs.

During this time I have been sleep deprived because the monitor would keep me awake at night because I only got to take it off to take a shower. I would find myself pulling nodes off of my chest or belly because I would roll over in my sleep. This was a time where through sleep deprivation I found myself in hostile territory in which spiritual warfare was a part of my every day life.... in a way that it has never been. I feel that God has kept me sane and feel that it was a time of reflection that still has me thinking today, "When is it going to stop?" Thank the Lord I do not have that monitor on anymore and my rest is coming back, however I am still going through some warfare that was started while all of this was going on. I have found it hard to read for class, hard to focus on God, falling into thoughts I shouldn't, and wondering what was wrong with me that I was faltering. This is not my life and my heart yearns that God would take over, however this is a time where I have let myself try to take control and I have badly regretted it. So the heart condition is more than a heart condition. This was the marking of a war that I cannot win, but only the true King and Messiah can lead me through to the ultimate victory that He has done. He is the one that said "It is finished" and He is the one that rose again only to be seated on the throne high above anything or anyone else. This Master holds the key... until then I will have to go into war with guns blazing and trust that He will give me courage, strength, and might to keep going. My faith is not wavering in how big God is, however I see that I need more faith to keep going through the valley's and battles that lay ahead. From this one event I see that I can't go another day without being at all out war with the enemy. My life is in His hands, so I will just keep on keepin on.

What do I know of Holy?

So recently my mind has been baffled by the amazing song by Addison Road. I can't wrap my mind around its words and meaning. It draws me to think more than anything ever. What do we know of Holy??? Really think about that question. watch this video and think about where you stand.

In April I posted a blog....

It had a video of Matthew West's song "The Motions". I still have not gotten over the message of the song and everytime I hear it, it makes me think even more, why do I live this life as though I am certain of my next moment? Why do I live life as though I am in control? Why do I live life as though I have a say so if I take my next breath? Truth is, every moment should be lived out as if it is my last and my love for Christ and other people should pour through. Here are the lyrics of the song....



This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way (cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
Take me all the way (through the motions)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

Yet Another Great Devotion

So, I had LIFEgroup yesterday with my guys and came away feeling this sense of how great God is and feeling awesome about how He could love me and how I want to reciprocate that to Him. To love Him back above all else in my life means alot has to change. Why would I change this stuff though? Just yesterday I taught about doing "quiet time" as an obligation to this God I gave my heart to and the guilt associated when I, or any other Christian, feels when we miss it. I showed that as the example that we don't want to have real intimacy and admitted my life being that way. I admitted that I failed "epically," as one of the guys would say, at having time with Christ. That time is truly something I wanted to do just out of love but before I just did it out of obligation and I felt I had to..... so to go on with this idea I missed my devo from last night. I went back this morning to read and started laughing once I read it... here it is.....

http://www.myutmost.org/07/0719.html


MASTERY OVER THE BELIEVER



"Ye call Me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am." John 13:13

Our Lord never insists on having authority; He never says - Thou shalt. He leaves us perfectly free - so free that we can spit in His face, as men did; so free that we can put Him to death, as men did; and He will never say a word. But when His life has been created in me by His Redemption I instantly recognize His right to absolute authority over me. It is a moral domination - "Thou art worthy . . ." It is only the unworthy in me that refuses to bow down to the worthy. If when I meet a man who is more holy than myself, I do not recognize his worthiness and obey what comes through him, it is a revelation of the unworthy in me. God educates us by means of people who are a little better than we are, not intellectually but "holily," until we get under the domination of the Lord Himself, and then the whole attitude of the life is one of obedience to Him.

If Our Lord insisted upon obedience He would become a taskmaster, and He would cease to have any authority. He never insists on obedience, but when we do see Him we obey Him instantly, He is easily Lord, and we live in adoration of Him from morning till night. The revelation of my growth in grace is the way in which I look upon obedience. We have to rescue the word "obedience" from the mire. Obedience is only possible between equals; it is the relationship between father and son, not between master and servant. "I and My Father are one." "Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered." The Son's obedience was as Redeemer, because He was Son, not in order to be Son.



Coincidence, I think not. Thanks again for using Oswald Chambers to author a beautiful devo.