It had a video of Matthew West's song "The Motions". I still have not gotten over the message of the song and everytime I hear it, it makes me think even more, why do I live this life as though I am certain of my next moment? Why do I live life as though I am in control? Why do I live life as though I have a say so if I take my next breath? Truth is, every moment should be lived out as if it is my last and my love for Christ and other people should pour through. Here are the lyrics of the song....
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?
No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?
Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way (cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?
Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
Take me all the way (through the motions)
Take me all the way
I don't wanna go through the motions
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Yet Another Great Devotion
So, I had LIFEgroup yesterday with my guys and came away feeling this sense of how great God is and feeling awesome about how He could love me and how I want to reciprocate that to Him. To love Him back above all else in my life means alot has to change. Why would I change this stuff though? Just yesterday I taught about doing "quiet time" as an obligation to this God I gave my heart to and the guilt associated when I, or any other Christian, feels when we miss it. I showed that as the example that we don't want to have real intimacy and admitted my life being that way. I admitted that I failed "epically," as one of the guys would say, at having time with Christ. That time is truly something I wanted to do just out of love but before I just did it out of obligation and I felt I had to..... so to go on with this idea I missed my devo from last night. I went back this morning to read and started laughing once I read it... here it is.....
http://www.myutmost.org/07/0719.html
MASTERY OVER THE BELIEVER
"Ye call Me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am." John 13:13
Our Lord never insists on having authority; He never says - Thou shalt. He leaves us perfectly free - so free that we can spit in His face, as men did; so free that we can put Him to death, as men did; and He will never say a word. But when His life has been created in me by His Redemption I instantly recognize His right to absolute authority over me. It is a moral domination - "Thou art worthy . . ." It is only the unworthy in me that refuses to bow down to the worthy. If when I meet a man who is more holy than myself, I do not recognize his worthiness and obey what comes through him, it is a revelation of the unworthy in me. God educates us by means of people who are a little better than we are, not intellectually but "holily," until we get under the domination of the Lord Himself, and then the whole attitude of the life is one of obedience to Him.
If Our Lord insisted upon obedience He would become a taskmaster, and He would cease to have any authority. He never insists on obedience, but when we do see Him we obey Him instantly, He is easily Lord, and we live in adoration of Him from morning till night. The revelation of my growth in grace is the way in which I look upon obedience. We have to rescue the word "obedience" from the mire. Obedience is only possible between equals; it is the relationship between father and son, not between master and servant. "I and My Father are one." "Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered." The Son's obedience was as Redeemer, because He was Son, not in order to be Son.
Coincidence, I think not. Thanks again for using Oswald Chambers to author a beautiful devo.
http://www.myutmost.org/07/0719.html
MASTERY OVER THE BELIEVER
"Ye call Me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am." John 13:13
Our Lord never insists on having authority; He never says - Thou shalt. He leaves us perfectly free - so free that we can spit in His face, as men did; so free that we can put Him to death, as men did; and He will never say a word. But when His life has been created in me by His Redemption I instantly recognize His right to absolute authority over me. It is a moral domination - "Thou art worthy . . ." It is only the unworthy in me that refuses to bow down to the worthy. If when I meet a man who is more holy than myself, I do not recognize his worthiness and obey what comes through him, it is a revelation of the unworthy in me. God educates us by means of people who are a little better than we are, not intellectually but "holily," until we get under the domination of the Lord Himself, and then the whole attitude of the life is one of obedience to Him.
If Our Lord insisted upon obedience He would become a taskmaster, and He would cease to have any authority. He never insists on obedience, but when we do see Him we obey Him instantly, He is easily Lord, and we live in adoration of Him from morning till night. The revelation of my growth in grace is the way in which I look upon obedience. We have to rescue the word "obedience" from the mire. Obedience is only possible between equals; it is the relationship between father and son, not between master and servant. "I and My Father are one." "Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered." The Son's obedience was as Redeemer, because He was Son, not in order to be Son.
Coincidence, I think not. Thanks again for using Oswald Chambers to author a beautiful devo.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My Utmost For His Highest...
Oswald Chambers put out a masterpiece.... but really it wasn't him. God has his hands all over this guy. God used him to author an amazing devotional in which I want to share. Todays was this...
July 15th.
THE POINT OF SPIRITUAL HONOUR
"I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the barbarians." Romans 1:14
Paul was overwhelmed with the sense of his indebtedness to Jesus Christ, and he spent himself to express it. The great inspiration in Paul's life was his view of Jesus Christ as his spiritual creditor. Do I feel that sense of indebtedness to Christ in regard to every unsaved soul? The spiritual honour of my life as a saint is to fulfil my debt to Christ in relation to them. Every bit of my life that is of value I owe to the Redemption of Jesus Christ; am I doing anything to enable Him to bring His Redemption into actual manifestation in other lives? I can only do it as the Spirit of God works in me this sense of indebtedness.
I am not to be a superior person amongst men, but a bondslave of the Lord Jesus. "Ye are not your own." Paul sold himself to Jesus Christ. He says - I am a debtor to everyone on the face of the earth because of the Gospel of Jesus; I am free to be an absolute slave only. That is the characteristic of the life when once this point of spiritual honour is realized. Quit praying about yourself and be spent for others as the bondslave of Jesus. That is the meaning of being made broken bread and poured out wine in reality.
How amazing is that.... just think about it. Jesus thank you for the opportunity to be a follower of you, God, King, Messiah, and Savior. Help me to be a servant to others because you provided a way to God and a way of freedom to me. I owe everything to you. My life is yours!
http://www.myutmost.org/07/0715.html
July 15th.
THE POINT OF SPIRITUAL HONOUR
"I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the barbarians." Romans 1:14
Paul was overwhelmed with the sense of his indebtedness to Jesus Christ, and he spent himself to express it. The great inspiration in Paul's life was his view of Jesus Christ as his spiritual creditor. Do I feel that sense of indebtedness to Christ in regard to every unsaved soul? The spiritual honour of my life as a saint is to fulfil my debt to Christ in relation to them. Every bit of my life that is of value I owe to the Redemption of Jesus Christ; am I doing anything to enable Him to bring His Redemption into actual manifestation in other lives? I can only do it as the Spirit of God works in me this sense of indebtedness.
I am not to be a superior person amongst men, but a bondslave of the Lord Jesus. "Ye are not your own." Paul sold himself to Jesus Christ. He says - I am a debtor to everyone on the face of the earth because of the Gospel of Jesus; I am free to be an absolute slave only. That is the characteristic of the life when once this point of spiritual honour is realized. Quit praying about yourself and be spent for others as the bondslave of Jesus. That is the meaning of being made broken bread and poured out wine in reality.
How amazing is that.... just think about it. Jesus thank you for the opportunity to be a follower of you, God, King, Messiah, and Savior. Help me to be a servant to others because you provided a way to God and a way of freedom to me. I owe everything to you. My life is yours!
http://www.myutmost.org/07/0715.html
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Michael Jackson, Just a Man
I have to say, Michael Jackson's death was a surprise and a shocker to everyone on the globe that is able to keep up with entertainment today. The man was no doubt crazy good at everything he did musically, dancing, or video wise. If we take our eyes off of him personally he can see countless times that the man broke the barrier with his unique and awesome shows, music, and dancing. There aren't too many people that you can name that are more famous than he has been and I wonder if there even will be for the time to come. Maybe someday? Here is the issue, the man at one time had all the money he could ask for, had everything he wanted, and lived a pretty care free life. What is missing from this picture? The man was the king of pop yet his kingdom has now gotten him no where with the King above all Kings. It is sad because we can see this man that did everything he wanted, yet had everything missing at the same time. Everything MJ had was lost, now eternity awaited him and he has nothing to vouch between him and the perfect and holy God. If there is no mediator between him and God then there is no eternity in God's kingdom. Jesus was the answer which Michael rejected in his life continually. This gos to show you can have everything and have nothing. I would rather have nothing but through Jesus gain everything. You have to decide, you either reject Christ or you dont. Simple as that. With Christ you get to glorify and praise a King that is better than anything you can fathom where eternity is spent with Jesus, or resisting God going through a life of foolishness that is only rewarded in eternity away from God and everything that He created. Think about it.
Michael was just a man like the rest of us...dirty and filthy of his sin and the wrongful things he did against God. Next time you go to a concert of someone..... while you are about to pass out and you are crying because of your obsessions.... step back and see that that is mere man and worship the true person that deserves it....Jesus.
Michael was just a man like the rest of us...dirty and filthy of his sin and the wrongful things he did against God. Next time you go to a concert of someone..... while you are about to pass out and you are crying because of your obsessions.... step back and see that that is mere man and worship the true person that deserves it....Jesus.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Brownsville Mission Trip June 2009
Brownsville Mission Trip Journal---
June 13, 2009 Saturday
Today was an early day for me because I stayed awake in excitement for most of the night. Today as the day went on I found myself more and more in pain as we went down the road on the way to Brownsville. The back pain I had was from the wreck I had months ago, but it made me realize once again who God is. This pain helped me once again to see who God is and how my life is held in His hands. Maybe this is something that I needed to remember as I came on this trip. When the wreck happened they told me I should have been paralyzed or even worse, but all I had was back pain and muscle pulls. This caused my life to flash before my eyes and helped me to see I am here only because God wants me to be…so live it up for Christ! Now I can take that with me for the rest of the trip.
June 14, 2009 Sunday
Today I woke up after a long night of tossing and turning, listening to my roommate talk in his sleep, and bathroom breaks, and was ready to see what God was going to do. We had a late start because they took a long time to serve breakfast, but it was ok as we finally left for the church. The service started and we were prayed over by the church. Soon after praise and worship, two guys would get up to do their testimony, Lonnie and Jonah. Both were touching but the most awesome time of the service was two things for me….
1. The song they played for offertory which says
“You’re the center of the universe, Everything was made in You, Jesus Breath of every living thing, Everyone was made for You :Pre-Chorus: You hold everything together, You hold everything together, :chorus: Christ be the center of our lives, Be the place we fix our eyes, Be the center of our lives We lift our eyes to heaven, We wrap our lives around your life, We lift our eyes to heaven, to You”
2. The closing illustration from the sermon…. Andrew talked about catching a small fish when he went out deep sea fishing and caught a decent sized fish but was alarmed when the guide took his fish rehooked it and threw it back as bait. That is when Andrew learned that sometimes you have to give a little to get a lot. Sometimes we have to sacrifice something we want or sacrifice our lives to go on to something bigger that God calls us to. Andrew later caught a huge shark…. Now that is a fish story. Soon after I would learn my sacrifice for the trip as I volunteered to help the kids with arts and crafts. My heart is drawn to and I love teaching older folks (youth and up). This is a difficult role to simply stand there to make sure the kids are gluing their nametags together correctly or whatever they may be doing. The smile of the kids however warms my heart as I remember going to craft time when I was a kid. So with this I commend my hands and time of service, whether it seems like my calling or not. I rely on the spirit to completely work in the times I am here whether it is VBS, building, or witnessing…God just use me.
June 15, 2009 Monday
What a night of rest! Finally! I woke up ready to go this morning and waiting to be used and a question came to my mind…. “Lord are the others ready to be used?” Hopefully everyone on this trip has a heart that is right and completely ready for service. Holy Spirit sit down on our group and move us as a puppet! As I write this song says this “In the morning, when I rise Give me Jesus Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus. When I am alone, Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus. When I come to die, Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus” I make that my prayer today as I go out. I pray that nothing else would have more impact on my life, nor anything have more value in my life than that of my King and Savior. Today I pray that will show in the way I help and the way I show the kids the attitude of Christ through me. We are getting sweatier by the second just thinking about building the bunk beds. (BEFORE) We just sweated immensely while building bunk beds (AFTER) Building felt good though as we got 8 or so beds built in an hour or two. God is amazing as He gave us the strength to do so. The trip to build the beds at the mission was quick however afterwards we had great food at Pollo Loco, which is amazing and then went swimming before another night at VBS. Everything was simply great… I am starting to get the hang of these little critters gluing their fingers together and writing everywhere with markers. God show them your face.
June 16, 2009 Tuesday
Today we went to the Mission building to build bunk beds and all of us thought it would be so cool if we could build all the bunk beds that we all were supposed to do during the duration of the trip. We started getting into great teamwork and we all worked our bones off. The teamwork paid off as we (my team of 8 plus another team of 6-8 or so) finished all the bunk beds. This included putting them together, almost all of them were sanded and about 12 or so were left to the other teams to put the wood protectant/sealant on. I was honestly so impressed with everyone’s work ethic and was so happy to see that all the beds that needed to be done were almost completely done. There was hardly anything left for the teams left to do to them expect putting the sealant on and moving them inside the building. The beds are going to be able to take in groups that will minister for the Kingdom of God and I don’t know how God will use it in its entirety until the other side of eternity. All of the hard work makes you hungry so after a long morning of getting woodchips and sand on us my team (team AWESOME) went to Chili’s. I was somewhat disappointed when I didn’t get to sit with a couple guys that I felt a little closer to, but soon found that lunch was going to be a great experience as I learned about Mike and Will and how God miraculously saved them from Atheism and living a life of hatred and other things. God really blessed me through them talking to each other as I mainly sat back and listened. This reminded me that we all have a story of how Christ, the King, lowered Himself and stayed obedient to death in humility so that those that will follow Him will have life. There is no greater message that I could think about the rest of the day. Today during free time I of course was at the pool…this seems to be a trend everyday now. Tonight’s VBS was more difficult for me as I was sooooooo tired from busting my butt most of the morning and not resting much during my free time. VBS was great though as the kids seemed like they almost doubled in number. The first and second grade class is tooooooo BIG, HAHA! Lord keep working…you are the Almighty Creator…I praise you.
June 17, 2009 Wednesday
Today is the day! I could feel it when I woke up that the Lord would use me as His tool in a special way today as His spokesman. Today we had our briefing at the church like usual and the teams switched….two went to the Mission and two went on mission go. By swapping this meant that my team was now on mission go. Mission go is door to door missions where we tell people about the VBS that is going on, pray, tell about the church, and share our faith if given the opportunity. One group went to mostly English speaking areas and the other group went to help Mt. Horeb Baptist….a fully Spanish speaking church that works with First Baptist some. My group went with Mt. Horeb translators into neighborhoods and would soon be on the streets. At first the people were opening doors and listening, but it didn’t seem as if they cared what we were saying. Finally I got to pray for a lady and her family which had needs because her son had a warrant out for his arrest, another son that had no job that was struggling, and other family issues. She had a tear rolling down her face as we left and I could not help but feel the Spirit inside me telling me that I am here to minister to people….not just share about a VBS. Shakiera was our translator and she did a great job. Her heart seems to be on fire for the Lord and I am so happy to see her working with us in this immense heat and humidity with us. The next 2 houses we had no one answer, but the next one I felt the Holy Spirit all over me to share the gospel. Its funny how that happened because a man named Roger answered the door and Shakiera asked if he spoke English and he did. I was able to talk to him about a few things and then was able to present the gospel to him. I spent about 15 or more minutes with Roger and was so excited at what the Lord did through me when Roger said he wanted to give His life to Christ there on the spot. We prayed and I told Roger that I would pray for him for the next couple weeks straight and then I would pray for him off and on for the next couple months after that. I told him that if he would let God take control his life would change and He would realize how amazing God is. Roger already went to church however I told him that would even be different if he was truly giving his life to the Lord. I am excited this happened. The high from that almost sent me over the edge and I started praying for the next house. Once we started up the driveway two little girls poked out from the car and we asked them to get their mom or dad. Out came this kinda dirty mechanic looking guy named Harold. I would soon learn that this experience was going to be very different than the house before. Harold told us stories upon stories about his life which was sad and Reuben, Shakiera, and I could all see God moving in this man’s life but he was absolutely ignoring it. He told us it was his way or no way, explained how he knew God and claimed to be Gods. We could see that he knew of God but did not have a relationship with him through every story he was telling us and by his own admissions. He was so stuck in his confusing that 20 minutes later we would walk away distraught because of his confusion in thinking he had a relationship with Jesus, our Messiah. I told Harold that I would spend the next month praying for him daily and then I would do it on and off for the next year. This will be hard to do, but I have to pray for God to show this man once and for all who He is and hopefully he will be saved. The rest of my day was kinda scarred by this and I thought about it a lot. Thanks be to God for the salvation and I pray for the man that rejected true life. I feel that those two households were what God woke me up for this morning. That feeling inside was to get me to those two houses to follow Him, whether it was good or bad. VBS was hard tonight as we did these bracelets that I had to help all the kids do because they were too complicated for most of them. I have never really braided and found it was difficult to braid for hours on end. I thought my fingers were going to fall off at the end of the night. Ha Ha. It was all worth it, all of the kids grew closer to me and to the volunteers because of that and I was glad to serve them. Now its time to go to IHOP with the guys! Thanks Lord for such an amazing day. At least 8 were saved just by gospel declarations today. Praise Jesus, our King forever and ever.
June 18, 2009 Thursday
Today happened to start out the same way as yesterday. I woke up with the idea that God was going to do something great and use me. I was right, but it took a lot of time to get to those people that we would help. We had so many houses that would not open their doors as they thought we were salesman, Jehovah’s Witnesses, or just didn’t because they were Catholic and Catholics are pretty straight forward saying no they don’t want to hear anything from someone that isn’t Catholic. We finally had the opportunity to knock on a fence at a house and a lady opened her door and walked out to the fence where we were standing. We would soon find out that she was a believer already and was struggling with a lot of things. She had just gone to a bible study the night before and had a verse from 2 Chronicles written in the palm of her hand. I felt as if Reuben was supposed to talk to her through Shakiera. I soon learned why as he was able to encourage her through the difficult times she was having. She said that she had gastro…something and her health was not as good as it should have been because she had not really taken care of herself. She would then tell us about something else that absolutely broke my heart. She had a son that was 12 yet he was probably 6’ 3” or 6’ 4” tall. He was mentally handicapped and had a disease described as giganticism. This is a huge deal for her as her husband works and has to go out of town, leaving her by herself with him and it was hard for her to take care of him by herself. Reuben prayed and Shakiera translated it and we were able to share several encouraging verses for her to read to help her. We then would walk for about 20-30 minutes before we had the chance to speak to someone seriously. No one was answering their door at all and finally a young teenager answers the door at his house. He was in his underwear and would stand there in front of us listening to what we had to say. Eventually I had the privilege of sharing the gospel with him and then at the end of my presentation of our Lord’s message we would hear a phone go off. The ring from the phone distracted us for a sec and then I gave an invitation to the kid following that. The poor guy abruptly said no and shut the door. He sat there all that time listening and then just cut us off. Doesn’t he realize that he just rejected something better than he could ever have on his own accord? Doesn’t he realize that he could be worshiping the King of all Glory? This broke my heart as we would keep walking and eventually would come across a house where we talked to a lady named Rosario. I remember her name because I said “Tu nombre es Brad,” and she would quickly say, “Tu nombre es Rosario.” I then realize I messed up….I meant to say “Mi nombre es Brad” I had told her that her name was Brad to start off the convo, which is very funny. No wonder she looked at me weird. I fixed it though with my limited Spanish skills. Soon we would find out that this family was in need and I was able to pray for them and for Rosario’s sister that lived somewhere else like Guadalajara or something of that nature. By the end of the prayer and translating we looked up to tears streaming down her face and I had a feeling that God was working on them. I prayed for immediate healing through the Power of Christ and His Holy Spirit if it is His will as this ladies life seemed in grave danger of death, possibly without a Savior to save her. I truly believe God will do something amazing and show His face so that other people will be saved from that situation. I can’t wait to see someday. Tonight I finished with the kids and just like the nights before rushed over to the youth building. This night was different however. This was a night that ran a little longer. During this time Craig got up and did an acoustic set just by himself. He started leading us all in praise and the Spirit of God just came down. Before the night was over all I could do is get on my knees and cry. The presence of God was so powerful that I could not sing anymore and even got to the point where I could not pray anymore. I felt as though all I could do is think and ponder about the greatness of God and how He deserves all praise. I was hunched over on my knees crying with my face in my hands, thinking “God you deserve all of me. God You are the Almighty Creator of all. You gave me a relationship with You through Jesus Death. I don’t deserve the relationship, nor do I deserve the extra blessings….so I lift your name up. I couldn’t think of anything but His splendor and greatness. Eventually I would realize that He was beckoning me to lay my heart out for Him and plea for forgiveness of my pride and other things that hinder my walk and just walk in the grace provided that overshadows me. I felt something in my heart that was so amazing that I can’t describe it. This was true praise. This was truly everything I needed. I begged and pleaded with the Lord to help the passion to love and serve never go away. He is great and good. What an amazing few days it’s been.
June 19, 2009 Friday
Today we woke up early to go to the beach on South Padre Island. I was so stoked….I have not ever been to Padre, only to Galveston and Port Aransas. As we got out to the beach we could see there was amazing waves coming in. Team awesome (Lonnie, Mike, Jonathan, Reuben, Will, Luke, Daniel, Craig and me) walked down the beach a ways and quickly put our stuff down to run into the water. The water was pretty cold at first but the thrill and beauty of God’s creation soon took over as we were all out there. I got to just hang out and run around with the guys all morning until breakfast got there. At this point I decided that it was worth getting a boogie board for the remainder 2 ½ hours that we were going to be there. I was right and wrong about this decision. Though the boogie board was great fun, the irritation it caused my stomach and chest along with the sand rubbing almost did me in. I had welts that were as big around as tennis balls and it was pure pain. For a little while it seemed as though maybe a jellyfish got a hold of me. This jellyfish story was easy to believe as we had found a jellyfish on the shore just as soon as we got there. Eventually there was a perfectly good stranger there at the beach that loaned me some pain relieving cream and it helped somewhat. The pain at one point was unbearable, but eventually I could handle it as we headed back to the hotel. As soon as I had a shower and the cream was off it was pretty bad again though. Oh well, what can you do? Next item to buy for the beach*******a water suit****** haha! All in all the trip to beach was great. God’s glory was all around us as I got to hang out with some great people and friends. God is truly breath taking. The rest of the day we spent eating great food, relaxing, and then went to the final night at VBS. Tonight the way the schedule was I got to hang with the youth. Though it was mostly just a hang out night that night it was a blessing in disguise. The youth at the church are amazing and we all had fun. There were at least 4 or more people come up to me and asked me to apply for the youth ministry position there at the church. What is weird is that for some reason this idea did not sound far away from what I was thinking in my mind. This sent my mind for a swirl and I have not recovered yet. Tonight however is heart breaking for me as I leave behind a city, church, and people that felt as though it was a second home for me. Why does it seem so much like I should live there and minister there? Why do I have a longing from the moment I got off the van to stay here in Brownsville? I guess I will see. Lord help me through this.
June 20, 2009 Saturday
Today we got up early and I honestly hated all the feelings inside me. Everything told me to stay. Everything in my heart seemed to scream….stay! Today is a hard day and though all those feelings were going on, I could feel so much joy because of what the Lord had done the past few days. I can’t wait to see how the Lord has used the students at Criswell to impact the churches and city of Brownsville. The trip was long but the good news is I had no back pain. Great news is I was leaving with great friends in my bus that I know I will keep for the rest of my life. Best news is I have so many thoughts about ministry and what God is calling me to. I can’t wait to see what happens. As soon as I got home I found that my parents were in town from 6 hours away and I got to see a video of my sister’s sonogram. There are only 2 months left before my nephew Asher is born and it is amazing. All I can do is praise God’s name. Thank God for my family and for everything He has done. It is his sovereignty and grace that leads.
June 13, 2009 Saturday
Today was an early day for me because I stayed awake in excitement for most of the night. Today as the day went on I found myself more and more in pain as we went down the road on the way to Brownsville. The back pain I had was from the wreck I had months ago, but it made me realize once again who God is. This pain helped me once again to see who God is and how my life is held in His hands. Maybe this is something that I needed to remember as I came on this trip. When the wreck happened they told me I should have been paralyzed or even worse, but all I had was back pain and muscle pulls. This caused my life to flash before my eyes and helped me to see I am here only because God wants me to be…so live it up for Christ! Now I can take that with me for the rest of the trip.
June 14, 2009 Sunday
Today I woke up after a long night of tossing and turning, listening to my roommate talk in his sleep, and bathroom breaks, and was ready to see what God was going to do. We had a late start because they took a long time to serve breakfast, but it was ok as we finally left for the church. The service started and we were prayed over by the church. Soon after praise and worship, two guys would get up to do their testimony, Lonnie and Jonah. Both were touching but the most awesome time of the service was two things for me….
1. The song they played for offertory which says
“You’re the center of the universe, Everything was made in You, Jesus Breath of every living thing, Everyone was made for You :Pre-Chorus: You hold everything together, You hold everything together, :chorus: Christ be the center of our lives, Be the place we fix our eyes, Be the center of our lives We lift our eyes to heaven, We wrap our lives around your life, We lift our eyes to heaven, to You”
2. The closing illustration from the sermon…. Andrew talked about catching a small fish when he went out deep sea fishing and caught a decent sized fish but was alarmed when the guide took his fish rehooked it and threw it back as bait. That is when Andrew learned that sometimes you have to give a little to get a lot. Sometimes we have to sacrifice something we want or sacrifice our lives to go on to something bigger that God calls us to. Andrew later caught a huge shark…. Now that is a fish story. Soon after I would learn my sacrifice for the trip as I volunteered to help the kids with arts and crafts. My heart is drawn to and I love teaching older folks (youth and up). This is a difficult role to simply stand there to make sure the kids are gluing their nametags together correctly or whatever they may be doing. The smile of the kids however warms my heart as I remember going to craft time when I was a kid. So with this I commend my hands and time of service, whether it seems like my calling or not. I rely on the spirit to completely work in the times I am here whether it is VBS, building, or witnessing…God just use me.
June 15, 2009 Monday
What a night of rest! Finally! I woke up ready to go this morning and waiting to be used and a question came to my mind…. “Lord are the others ready to be used?” Hopefully everyone on this trip has a heart that is right and completely ready for service. Holy Spirit sit down on our group and move us as a puppet! As I write this song says this “In the morning, when I rise Give me Jesus Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus. When I am alone, Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus. When I come to die, Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus” I make that my prayer today as I go out. I pray that nothing else would have more impact on my life, nor anything have more value in my life than that of my King and Savior. Today I pray that will show in the way I help and the way I show the kids the attitude of Christ through me. We are getting sweatier by the second just thinking about building the bunk beds. (BEFORE) We just sweated immensely while building bunk beds (AFTER) Building felt good though as we got 8 or so beds built in an hour or two. God is amazing as He gave us the strength to do so. The trip to build the beds at the mission was quick however afterwards we had great food at Pollo Loco, which is amazing and then went swimming before another night at VBS. Everything was simply great… I am starting to get the hang of these little critters gluing their fingers together and writing everywhere with markers. God show them your face.
June 16, 2009 Tuesday
Today we went to the Mission building to build bunk beds and all of us thought it would be so cool if we could build all the bunk beds that we all were supposed to do during the duration of the trip. We started getting into great teamwork and we all worked our bones off. The teamwork paid off as we (my team of 8 plus another team of 6-8 or so) finished all the bunk beds. This included putting them together, almost all of them were sanded and about 12 or so were left to the other teams to put the wood protectant/sealant on. I was honestly so impressed with everyone’s work ethic and was so happy to see that all the beds that needed to be done were almost completely done. There was hardly anything left for the teams left to do to them expect putting the sealant on and moving them inside the building. The beds are going to be able to take in groups that will minister for the Kingdom of God and I don’t know how God will use it in its entirety until the other side of eternity. All of the hard work makes you hungry so after a long morning of getting woodchips and sand on us my team (team AWESOME) went to Chili’s. I was somewhat disappointed when I didn’t get to sit with a couple guys that I felt a little closer to, but soon found that lunch was going to be a great experience as I learned about Mike and Will and how God miraculously saved them from Atheism and living a life of hatred and other things. God really blessed me through them talking to each other as I mainly sat back and listened. This reminded me that we all have a story of how Christ, the King, lowered Himself and stayed obedient to death in humility so that those that will follow Him will have life. There is no greater message that I could think about the rest of the day. Today during free time I of course was at the pool…this seems to be a trend everyday now. Tonight’s VBS was more difficult for me as I was sooooooo tired from busting my butt most of the morning and not resting much during my free time. VBS was great though as the kids seemed like they almost doubled in number. The first and second grade class is tooooooo BIG, HAHA! Lord keep working…you are the Almighty Creator…I praise you.
June 17, 2009 Wednesday
Today is the day! I could feel it when I woke up that the Lord would use me as His tool in a special way today as His spokesman. Today we had our briefing at the church like usual and the teams switched….two went to the Mission and two went on mission go. By swapping this meant that my team was now on mission go. Mission go is door to door missions where we tell people about the VBS that is going on, pray, tell about the church, and share our faith if given the opportunity. One group went to mostly English speaking areas and the other group went to help Mt. Horeb Baptist….a fully Spanish speaking church that works with First Baptist some. My group went with Mt. Horeb translators into neighborhoods and would soon be on the streets. At first the people were opening doors and listening, but it didn’t seem as if they cared what we were saying. Finally I got to pray for a lady and her family which had needs because her son had a warrant out for his arrest, another son that had no job that was struggling, and other family issues. She had a tear rolling down her face as we left and I could not help but feel the Spirit inside me telling me that I am here to minister to people….not just share about a VBS. Shakiera was our translator and she did a great job. Her heart seems to be on fire for the Lord and I am so happy to see her working with us in this immense heat and humidity with us. The next 2 houses we had no one answer, but the next one I felt the Holy Spirit all over me to share the gospel. Its funny how that happened because a man named Roger answered the door and Shakiera asked if he spoke English and he did. I was able to talk to him about a few things and then was able to present the gospel to him. I spent about 15 or more minutes with Roger and was so excited at what the Lord did through me when Roger said he wanted to give His life to Christ there on the spot. We prayed and I told Roger that I would pray for him for the next couple weeks straight and then I would pray for him off and on for the next couple months after that. I told him that if he would let God take control his life would change and He would realize how amazing God is. Roger already went to church however I told him that would even be different if he was truly giving his life to the Lord. I am excited this happened. The high from that almost sent me over the edge and I started praying for the next house. Once we started up the driveway two little girls poked out from the car and we asked them to get their mom or dad. Out came this kinda dirty mechanic looking guy named Harold. I would soon learn that this experience was going to be very different than the house before. Harold told us stories upon stories about his life which was sad and Reuben, Shakiera, and I could all see God moving in this man’s life but he was absolutely ignoring it. He told us it was his way or no way, explained how he knew God and claimed to be Gods. We could see that he knew of God but did not have a relationship with him through every story he was telling us and by his own admissions. He was so stuck in his confusing that 20 minutes later we would walk away distraught because of his confusion in thinking he had a relationship with Jesus, our Messiah. I told Harold that I would spend the next month praying for him daily and then I would do it on and off for the next year. This will be hard to do, but I have to pray for God to show this man once and for all who He is and hopefully he will be saved. The rest of my day was kinda scarred by this and I thought about it a lot. Thanks be to God for the salvation and I pray for the man that rejected true life. I feel that those two households were what God woke me up for this morning. That feeling inside was to get me to those two houses to follow Him, whether it was good or bad. VBS was hard tonight as we did these bracelets that I had to help all the kids do because they were too complicated for most of them. I have never really braided and found it was difficult to braid for hours on end. I thought my fingers were going to fall off at the end of the night. Ha Ha. It was all worth it, all of the kids grew closer to me and to the volunteers because of that and I was glad to serve them. Now its time to go to IHOP with the guys! Thanks Lord for such an amazing day. At least 8 were saved just by gospel declarations today. Praise Jesus, our King forever and ever.
June 18, 2009 Thursday
Today happened to start out the same way as yesterday. I woke up with the idea that God was going to do something great and use me. I was right, but it took a lot of time to get to those people that we would help. We had so many houses that would not open their doors as they thought we were salesman, Jehovah’s Witnesses, or just didn’t because they were Catholic and Catholics are pretty straight forward saying no they don’t want to hear anything from someone that isn’t Catholic. We finally had the opportunity to knock on a fence at a house and a lady opened her door and walked out to the fence where we were standing. We would soon find out that she was a believer already and was struggling with a lot of things. She had just gone to a bible study the night before and had a verse from 2 Chronicles written in the palm of her hand. I felt as if Reuben was supposed to talk to her through Shakiera. I soon learned why as he was able to encourage her through the difficult times she was having. She said that she had gastro…something and her health was not as good as it should have been because she had not really taken care of herself. She would then tell us about something else that absolutely broke my heart. She had a son that was 12 yet he was probably 6’ 3” or 6’ 4” tall. He was mentally handicapped and had a disease described as giganticism. This is a huge deal for her as her husband works and has to go out of town, leaving her by herself with him and it was hard for her to take care of him by herself. Reuben prayed and Shakiera translated it and we were able to share several encouraging verses for her to read to help her. We then would walk for about 20-30 minutes before we had the chance to speak to someone seriously. No one was answering their door at all and finally a young teenager answers the door at his house. He was in his underwear and would stand there in front of us listening to what we had to say. Eventually I had the privilege of sharing the gospel with him and then at the end of my presentation of our Lord’s message we would hear a phone go off. The ring from the phone distracted us for a sec and then I gave an invitation to the kid following that. The poor guy abruptly said no and shut the door. He sat there all that time listening and then just cut us off. Doesn’t he realize that he just rejected something better than he could ever have on his own accord? Doesn’t he realize that he could be worshiping the King of all Glory? This broke my heart as we would keep walking and eventually would come across a house where we talked to a lady named Rosario. I remember her name because I said “Tu nombre es Brad,” and she would quickly say, “Tu nombre es Rosario.” I then realize I messed up….I meant to say “Mi nombre es Brad” I had told her that her name was Brad to start off the convo, which is very funny. No wonder she looked at me weird. I fixed it though with my limited Spanish skills. Soon we would find out that this family was in need and I was able to pray for them and for Rosario’s sister that lived somewhere else like Guadalajara or something of that nature. By the end of the prayer and translating we looked up to tears streaming down her face and I had a feeling that God was working on them. I prayed for immediate healing through the Power of Christ and His Holy Spirit if it is His will as this ladies life seemed in grave danger of death, possibly without a Savior to save her. I truly believe God will do something amazing and show His face so that other people will be saved from that situation. I can’t wait to see someday. Tonight I finished with the kids and just like the nights before rushed over to the youth building. This night was different however. This was a night that ran a little longer. During this time Craig got up and did an acoustic set just by himself. He started leading us all in praise and the Spirit of God just came down. Before the night was over all I could do is get on my knees and cry. The presence of God was so powerful that I could not sing anymore and even got to the point where I could not pray anymore. I felt as though all I could do is think and ponder about the greatness of God and how He deserves all praise. I was hunched over on my knees crying with my face in my hands, thinking “God you deserve all of me. God You are the Almighty Creator of all. You gave me a relationship with You through Jesus Death. I don’t deserve the relationship, nor do I deserve the extra blessings….so I lift your name up. I couldn’t think of anything but His splendor and greatness. Eventually I would realize that He was beckoning me to lay my heart out for Him and plea for forgiveness of my pride and other things that hinder my walk and just walk in the grace provided that overshadows me. I felt something in my heart that was so amazing that I can’t describe it. This was true praise. This was truly everything I needed. I begged and pleaded with the Lord to help the passion to love and serve never go away. He is great and good. What an amazing few days it’s been.
June 19, 2009 Friday
Today we woke up early to go to the beach on South Padre Island. I was so stoked….I have not ever been to Padre, only to Galveston and Port Aransas. As we got out to the beach we could see there was amazing waves coming in. Team awesome (Lonnie, Mike, Jonathan, Reuben, Will, Luke, Daniel, Craig and me) walked down the beach a ways and quickly put our stuff down to run into the water. The water was pretty cold at first but the thrill and beauty of God’s creation soon took over as we were all out there. I got to just hang out and run around with the guys all morning until breakfast got there. At this point I decided that it was worth getting a boogie board for the remainder 2 ½ hours that we were going to be there. I was right and wrong about this decision. Though the boogie board was great fun, the irritation it caused my stomach and chest along with the sand rubbing almost did me in. I had welts that were as big around as tennis balls and it was pure pain. For a little while it seemed as though maybe a jellyfish got a hold of me. This jellyfish story was easy to believe as we had found a jellyfish on the shore just as soon as we got there. Eventually there was a perfectly good stranger there at the beach that loaned me some pain relieving cream and it helped somewhat. The pain at one point was unbearable, but eventually I could handle it as we headed back to the hotel. As soon as I had a shower and the cream was off it was pretty bad again though. Oh well, what can you do? Next item to buy for the beach*******a water suit****** haha! All in all the trip to beach was great. God’s glory was all around us as I got to hang out with some great people and friends. God is truly breath taking. The rest of the day we spent eating great food, relaxing, and then went to the final night at VBS. Tonight the way the schedule was I got to hang with the youth. Though it was mostly just a hang out night that night it was a blessing in disguise. The youth at the church are amazing and we all had fun. There were at least 4 or more people come up to me and asked me to apply for the youth ministry position there at the church. What is weird is that for some reason this idea did not sound far away from what I was thinking in my mind. This sent my mind for a swirl and I have not recovered yet. Tonight however is heart breaking for me as I leave behind a city, church, and people that felt as though it was a second home for me. Why does it seem so much like I should live there and minister there? Why do I have a longing from the moment I got off the van to stay here in Brownsville? I guess I will see. Lord help me through this.
June 20, 2009 Saturday
Today we got up early and I honestly hated all the feelings inside me. Everything told me to stay. Everything in my heart seemed to scream….stay! Today is a hard day and though all those feelings were going on, I could feel so much joy because of what the Lord had done the past few days. I can’t wait to see how the Lord has used the students at Criswell to impact the churches and city of Brownsville. The trip was long but the good news is I had no back pain. Great news is I was leaving with great friends in my bus that I know I will keep for the rest of my life. Best news is I have so many thoughts about ministry and what God is calling me to. I can’t wait to see what happens. As soon as I got home I found that my parents were in town from 6 hours away and I got to see a video of my sister’s sonogram. There are only 2 months left before my nephew Asher is born and it is amazing. All I can do is praise God’s name. Thank God for my family and for everything He has done. It is his sovereignty and grace that leads.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
One Cheekin' It
Today at church we Pastor Jay talked about surrender and what it means. Is it crazy to think about for anyone? Honestly do we understand what this is all about? Surrender is a hard subject for everyone because no one wants to surrender anything aout themselves. We all want our piece or want everything we can get our hands on....its the truth. What happens when we go through life with just our pride and our selfishness running everything? Wouldn't that mean that we have not given everything to Christ like we said? Wouldn't that mean that we are ripping off the very Messiah that deserves our very best? So many questions with all close to the same answers. Lets take it to another level...If Jesus is supposedly King over all and sitting on the throne.....then how come we are trying to sit on it with Him? Just like spoken about today...it seems as though we are one cheekin' it with God when we all know apparently that it is completely the King's throne and not ours. So what do we do? We give everything over, we stop everything we are doing of our own accord and give it all away to our Master and Lord. We realize that we cannot do anything on our own and give up on ourselves and give everything to Christ. That is the only answer and the only way....
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Oh My Goodness
Not another day should we as believers ever walk as if God's grace was not poured on us. His grace is so plentiful that there is nothing in life that is as great as His glory, because He saved us from a wrath that we deserve. Now that brings you and I to a point, are we going through the motions? Are we just laid back Christians that know about God and can see what He does sometimes (if it directly effects us) or are we in a relationship not based on rules, but submerged in Love and Grace that provides everything we need in this life ever... Truth is if we knew we had a life with Grace completely covering us our day to day life would be different. WATCH THIS VIDEO, MAYBE IT CAN HELP YOU TO THINK ABOUT THINGS....
The artist in this video is Matthew West. He is an awesome writer/singer that is known for songs such as Happy, More, Next Thing you Know, The Day Before You (popularized by Rascal Flatts)
here is The Day Before You just to catch a glimpse of his God given talent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5pQlVRypNo
The artist in this video is Matthew West. He is an awesome writer/singer that is known for songs such as Happy, More, Next Thing you Know, The Day Before You (popularized by Rascal Flatts)
here is The Day Before You just to catch a glimpse of his God given talent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5pQlVRypNo
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